First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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