Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
