God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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