Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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