You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.