ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
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I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....