I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie