I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.