Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England http://tfl.nu/wgnu

Replies (63) Good night (16571) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look. http://tfl.nu/n3uw

Replies (16) Good night (4804) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it http://tfl.nu/tzqh

Replies (92) Good night (7299) Bad night (1878) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(909): View more from California

I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(909): I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird. http://tfl.nu/n96h

Replies (31) Good night (1014) Bad night (3817) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom http://tfl.nu/tvji

Replies (25) Good night (1312) Bad night (4174) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it" http://tfl.nu/sq67

Replies (9) Good night (5581) Bad night (1118)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed http://tfl.nu/1p3v

Replies (24) Good night (744) Bad night (5643) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Umm you met him three days ago....

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I said what I said

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0

Replies (30) Good night (7353) Bad night (1421)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

two words...techno handjob

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): two words...techno handjob http://tfl.nu/l83l

Replies (31) Good night (4426) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move... (412): Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am. http://tfl.nu/4pbg

Replies (13) Good night (5373) Bad night (1496)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this. http://tfl.nu/rcac

Replies (25) Good night (1572) Bad night (5605)
Favorite
(423): View more from Tennessee

I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(423): I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant. http://tfl.nu/k43z

Replies (9) Good night (697) Bad night (1917) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(575): View more from New Mexico

you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(575): you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/lmrm

Replies (10) Good night (2874) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb

Replies (5) Good night (1915) Bad night (1022)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day http://tfl.nu/lnlc

Replies (6) Good night (1089) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: