We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
