just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.