i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
