Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Your cock deserves a montage
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
