Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
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i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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