it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
What changed your mind?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi