I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.