nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry