so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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