I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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