I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
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I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You don't make any sense
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