Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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