no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
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I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.