took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?