Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
