Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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