Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.