You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.