cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.