they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.