The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
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And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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