ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
