is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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