you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
