Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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