Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
