After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
