the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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