I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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