I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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