i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
