why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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