I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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