She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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