remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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