Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
