I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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