I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.