But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.