Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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