the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
