he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
