He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went