I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"