if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.