so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.