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I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
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