I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
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he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
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You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.