Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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