someone owes me an orgasm
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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