i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
