He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over