dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list