There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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