Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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